Where are the children?

‘Where are the children’ is a free online resource from the United Reformed Church that provides a simple framework to develop churches’ engagement with children.

We encourage you to:

• Seek: Discover the answers to ‘where are the children?’ for your church. ‘Seek and you will find.’
• Pray: Prayerfully discern how your congregation could be extending Jesus’ welcome to children in the most appropriate ways for your context. ‘Ask and it will be given you.’
• Serve: Start to serve children directly or indirectly in ways that reflect your gifts and resources. ‘Knock and it will be opened to you.’

Download the booklet

You can download the Where are the children (PDF | 3mb) booklet or read its contents online below.

Where are the children in your hearts?

Where are the children in your premises?

Where are the children in your community?

Where are the children in the life of your church?

Where are the children in your worship?

Suggestions for using this resource

We hope this resource will stimulate thought, prayer and action!

You could:

• Reflect on it: Listen to God’s call to you personally with regard to children, adjust your prayer life accordingly, and find a practical way to express your call that serves children.
• Share it: Read it with others in a small group; discuss the questions together, pray together and encourage one another to follow through in action. You could even agree to share stories of how you are getting on in prayer and action, in mutual support to persevere.
  ‘So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up.’ (Galatians 6:9, NRSV)
• Make it a focus for your church: Give a series of sessions, or sermon slots, to work through the sections. Use creative methods to capture people’s responses. Allow time for prayers to be created and used. Commission people into a whole variety of ministries, large and small, long-term and occasional. Update noticeboards, the website and newsletters to include regular features on how as a congregation you are seeking, praying for and serving children. Find ways to reflect this in your meetings and times of worship, Remember to celebrate the riches these connections with young lives add to your church!

I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. They are ever giving liberally and lending, and their children become a blessing. (Psalm 37:25-26, NRSV)

Prayer

Lord God, thank you for the gift of children.
Help us to seek, pray and serve.
Jesus, who instructed his disciples ‘Let the children come to me’,
We bring you our prayers for the children and for our church
as we seek to pave the way for the children to come to you.
We pray for the children in our hearts, naming them before you now,
That they might know themselves loved and valued
And that we might nurture the growing seeds of faith
Through our words, our actions, our listening and our witness.
We pray for the children in our premises, naming them before you now,
That they may find a welcome here and relationships may blossom.
We pray for the children in our community, thinking especially of those
Who feel lost or alone, anxious or afraid, or in need of a mentor
or support.
May we reach out to them, directly or indirectly, with your love and
compassion.
We pray especially for the schools and clubs in our neighbourhood
And ask for your strength and guidance for all who work with children in
any capacity.
We pray for the children in our church life, naming them before you now,
That they may find a voice and a purpose and feel a valued part of the
family,
And that we may all be open to learn from each other and play together.
And we pray for the children in our worship, naming them before you now,
that we may not prove a stumbling block
But truly let the children come to you.
Lord God, thank you for the gift of children.
Help us to seek, pray and serve.
Amen

Listen to the children – voices from the 2018 Review

Congregations were encouraged to talk to those under 11 about their experience of church and these children were then invited to share ‘two stars and a wish’ (two favourite things and one thing they would like). There was a very wide spread of responses including:

Stars: Going outside, singing and praying in church, meeting friends, the range of activities, leaders and church members are kind and friendly, songs, learning about stories from the Bible, being able to be part of the Nativity play, colouring and painting, we get to make things on our own and are taught how to do it, acting, fete every year, Boys Brigade, Bouncy Days, Communion, taking part in services, playing with toys and playdough, imaginary play, themed activities, joining in with singing, the church looks after people, church hall,  pictures on the wall, drinks and biscuits after services.

‘I think the community is good’
‘Learning new things about Christianity’
‘I like eating the bread and grape juice’
‘I like learning about Jesus and Sunday School’
‘Church parades and the nice people’
‘I like it because we worship God respectfully’
‘We can share feelings’
‘We always get food and games related to the theme from
the Bible’
‘Using the flags in church’
‘I always feel welcome and included in church’
‘They care for people who need it’
‘I play my ukulele’
‘Being involved in the service, taking the offering’
‘I like sharing my feelings about God’
‘It involves all ages and everyone can feel included’

Wishes: A common theme was wishing they did more outside, that groups/activities happened more often, that more children came. Others wished for a younger version of a specific church group, an Xbox or a games room, more plays, a book corner, a bigger garden, more use of technology. Some wishes were more imaginative: a bouncy castle, a swimming pool, a monthly party where we could bring our pets, a hot tub, a pony, more ice cream, poo emoji cushions!

‘A quiet place to pray alone’
‘I wish there were arts and crafts for all ages, not just the
younger ones’
‘I wish there was more aimed at children – singing, acting’
‘I wish the church had Jesus’ blood every day’
‘I wish to go on trips to places to learn about God more’
‘I wish we could watch about God’
‘I wish that children had more of a voice’
‘I wish that my school friends were here to enjoy the fun with me’
‘I wish there were non-boring meetings’
‘I wish this church could be part of Star Wars’
‘I wish I could see and hug God’

How could your church invite children to share their thoughts and feelings about what the church does and how they experience church life? How could you enable everyone to listen to them?

Where next?

Remember, the Children & Youth Friendly Church award is not just for churches where children participate in worship on a Sunday. Can your church demonstrate that you have a heart for children and families in the life of your congregation? If you don’t already have the award, talk to your United Reformed Church Synod Children’s and Youth Development Officer or equivalent.